When Donald Trump’s Director of Social Media, Dan Scavino, tweeted some pictures a few weeks ago of the President and Vice President getting a briefing on what was going on with Hurricane Dorian, I doubt that he thought it would gin up as many theories as it did, but we here at DC Tribune have a very simple question, and we’re not seeing anyone so far asking it:
Since the photo series that Scavino posted was so clearly, obviously, painfully staged, why did the photographer not take better care to mask the President’s frankly enormous ass in the one that’s been circulated most widely? It’s been long enough now that we should know the answer to this.
Is the White House photographer suddenly not a fan of the President anymore?
Here’s the original tweet:
— Dan Scavino Jr.🇺🇸 (@Scavino45) August 30, 2019
The photo in the bottom left quadrant of the tweet depicts the President, back to the camera, listening to one man speak as the rest of the room looks on. But nestled in the President’s chair, hugging both the protesting seat and the bulging back of the chair, is an ass that looks like Trump just made 8 kids playing foursquare very sad.
And it’s not like we don’t know that the rest of the photo — and the rest of the group of photos — was staged. Not a hair is out of place, not a shirt or cuff in motion, not wrinkle on a piece of paper, trashcan empty, telephone cords neatly curled in perfect U-shapes and draped over the Resolute Desk like coiled grey elves on a shelf. All attendees look pensive, as though they’re not attending the kindergarten version of a disaster briefing, where professional forecasters inexplicably use giant colorful pictures clearly marked with a dot that shows Dorian crashing into Mar-a-Lago right around KFC time on Monday evening, rather than the computer models that grown-ups use.
So why the picture of ol’ Hugh Jass behind the President there? There was clearly plenty of time to get everything in place, and sitting up even the tiniest bit may have minimized Trump’s tremendous rump.
It could very well be that Trump’s ass actually looks like that standing up, and that’s what pitches his posture forward like a mannequin with the torso screwed on wrong. If that’s the case, then the official weight of 243 pounds that Trump and his doctors submitted for public consumption earlier this year appears to be a per-cheek estimate.
We’ll leave it to the experts to decide.
In all seriousness, however, the kind of weight that makes your posterior that large is dangerously unhealthy, and while we’d love to see him out of the 2020 presidential race, we’d prefer it was because he was in jail, not the morgue.
Featured image via screen capture
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