According To Multiple Sources, Trump Responded To Cohen’s Tapes By Admitting Guilt: “I can’t believe Michael would do this to me.”

We promise we're laughing about something else entirely, don't mind us.


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The big news on Friday was the fact that Donald Trump’s longtime personal “fixer” Michael Cohen had secretly recorded conversations between Trump and himself regarding a hush money agreement they arranged with former Playboy model Karen McDougal.

It wasn’t really breaking news to anyone that a) there was another woman Trump paid off to keep quiet about an affair or b) that someone like Michael Cohen would have covered his own ass with clandestine recordings in the first place.

Or was it?

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Well, that second part, anyway. It seems that the louder half of the pair having the conversation — the guilty party — never even considered that Cohen might do something like that. In fact, Trump may be doing double backflips of dismay at this point, because it doesn’t sound like Cohen’s recorded evidence was limited to one paltry conversation about paying off a centerfold. According to the president’s own lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, and another source with knowledge of the tapes, there are plenty of recordings of plenty of conversations, and they’ve all be seized by the FBI.

So what does Trump sound like when he actually knows he’s in trouble? Usually, Trump is able to strike a defiant tone about nearly anything to comes down the pike at him, because he knows he’ll never face any consequences with a complicit Congress. But in a situation where it’s out of the control of those who can help him or cover for him, it’s a different story.

According to a CNN source, Trump’s reported response sounds almost sad if you picture it coming out of a pair of 72-year-old orange lips:

I can’t believe Michael would do this to me.”

Aww, it’s hard not to stifle a laugh and pat that guy on his weirdly hunched shoulders.

Featured image via screen capture


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