There’s no one in America who follows the news that doesn’t remember last year’s presidential check-up from Dr. Ronny Jackson. That’s not just because “Dr. Ronny Jackson” sounds like the name a 10-year-old boy might call himself just before he gets in a lot of trouble. It’s because Dr. Ronny reported Trump’s weight at a svelte 239 pounds — a number I haven’t seen since my mid-30’s, and I am a heck of a lot thinner than Donald Trump — and his height as taller than he’d been in years.
In fact, Trump was so pleased with Dr. Ronny’s assessment of him as a perfect physical specimen that he nominated Jackson to head up the Veteran’s Administration, the overseer of all things health care for our nation’s soldiers. Unfortunately, that didn’t work out so well for Dr. Ronny, as he was accused by multiple credible witnesses of a few small things like drinking on the job and also handing out prescriptions like candy.
Jackson, of course, withdrew his name from consideration for the position because he assumed, of course, that it would prevent him from being investigated for the allegations.
Now the President desperately needs something new for the news cycle, and he happens to be due for another physical, so who to our wondering eyes should appear but Dr. Ronny Jackson, whose whiskey breath you can probably smell from right here.
That’s right, Donny’s bringing back Ronny, this time as his “chief medical advisor” — presumably the position that will be allowed to administer the physical this year — despite the fact that Jackson’s gambit to escape from an investigation by withdrawing last year didn’t work. He is still being investigated by the Pentagon for the alleged abuse of coworkers and his drinking and prescription habits.
And in case just bringing him back in a non-Senate-confirmed position that no one can stop wasn’t enough to let you know Trump has Ronny’s back, he also nominated him for a military promotion at the same time, because of course he did.
Was Dr. Ronny giving Trump all the prescriptions he wanted, and maybe bringing him back under the presidential wing is something Trump thinks will keep that from coming to light? Does he just need another physical to release to the public that says he looks like the velvet painting Sean Hannity has of him hanging over his bed?
We may never know, but at least we’re in for another good laugh either way.
Featured image via screen capture