It seems that Donald Trump just isn’t satisfied with running one whole country completely into the ground. His pudgy, egotistical little self wants to add another one to the mix, evidently to see if he can fuck it up in what’s left of his presidency as badly as he has the US — and so far, he’s got his sights set on the country of Greenland.
Now, Donald Trump is eerily reminiscent of Veruca Salt — that extremely annoying, bratty child in that one movie with the chocolate factory that you watched when you were five? The same one that struts around, stomping her feet, kicking and screaming, “I don’t care how I want it now!” That is until she ends up being labeled a “bad egg” and taking herself a little trip down the garbage chute while all the Oompa Loompas sing a catchy little song about how monumentally shitty she is.
Unfortunately, we are not yet at the garbage chute stage of Trump’s presidency — though we do all hope and pray to whatever God is taking requests that day that it’s coming soon because holy shit how much longer can this last?!
We are sadly still smack dab in the middle of the kicking and cussing stage. And while it’s not a chocolate factory that Donnie is stomping his tiny little lifted feet over — it is a whole ass country.
Of course, both Greenland’s government and their residents have responded to Trump with a collective “HAHAHAHAHAHA! No.” But, as expected, that’s done nothing to stanch his spoiled rotten desires.
Since Greenland obviously didn’t treat Donald like his daddy used to and hand him a whole country so he’d just shut his damn mouth already, it seems that the Trumpster is trying a new tactic — jokes. And bad ones, at that.
Trump took to his Twitter account this evening with a photoshopped image of Greenland, featuring a big, gold Trump Tower smack dab in the middle of it complete with the caption, “I promise not to do this to Greenland!”
I promise not to do this to Greenland! pic.twitter.com/03DdyVU6HA
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 20, 2019
Evidently, he thought this would be cute. Everyone would get themselves a heart, wholesome laugh before chortling, “Oh, that Trump! Shucks.”
Everyone got themselves a laugh, alright, but it was not with him:
Wow, Trump’s narcissism knows no bounds because he is projecting his insecurities and using his dumb pee colored Trump Tower as a phallic symbol to cover up his inner shame and embarrassment for being such an old fart loser.
— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) August 20, 2019
Are you ever gonna do any actual work? You just f**k off all day and night. Worst, most incompetent president ever… #Trump
— Andy Ostroy (@AndyOstroy) August 20, 2019
You don’t have the money to build that building. Like all the rest you have to go and borrow funds just for the sign.
What a wannabe loser….🙄
— happylen (@happylen5) August 20, 2019
Unfortunately EVERYBODY ON THE PLANET is aware that when the chump says something affirmative then it’s likely a lie and the exact opposite is true. IF HE EVER GOT HIS TINY HANDS ON GREENLAND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HE WOULD DO.
Look away normal people this is sad. pic.twitter.com/wpRek7NX0f
— CharlieChickadee (@CharlieChickade) August 20, 2019
they hate you as well and don’t want you anywhere near them. Ruining their scenery and fisheries and clean water and clear air and their good way of living pic.twitter.com/TCQsq7W4Ll
— weekender (@lovelifetodaypl) August 20, 2019
More like, Greenland will NEVER allow you to do it.
— King Donald Joffrey Trump (@realTrumpClone) August 20, 2019
Hurry Greenland. Rename yourself Obamaland.
— Bill Johnson🌊 (@Bill43111) August 20, 2019
— Joey Coco (@JoeyCoco10) August 20, 2019
Well, that went about as dumpster fire-esque as I expected it to.
Featured image via DC Tribune Gallery
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